Men Who Uninspire India - II

Men Who Uninspire India – II

Written by FHM India

Manu Sharma: You can do better things with a pretty lady than shoot her. The murderer of model Jessica Lall features in the list not just because he shot someone who refused to serve him an extra drink, but also because he demonstrated his lack of intellect at several occasions. In 2009, he filed for a parole saying that he needed to attend to his ailing mother and attend the final rites of his grandmother. However, his parole had to be cancelled because his so called ‘ailing mother’ was seen promoting a ladies cricket tournament, the grandmother had already died in 2008 and Manu was spotted partying at a private lounge in the capital.
Shiney Ahuja: Not everything is maid…errr…made in heaven. The Hazaron Khwahishen Aisi star was known to fiddle with his co-stars on set, but no one thought that the guy who paired opposite hotties like Chitrangada Singh and Kangana Ranaut would be so desperate to make love that he would actually go after his domestic help. Did he really run out of better options? Or were they ‘maid’ for each other?
Ashmit Patel: He is exactly what his ladylove Veena Malik used to pronounce his name as – ‘Ass’hmit Patel. We last saw him hosting a show where he trains the contestants to be better studs. C’mon, we don’t need to learn it from an ‘actor’ whose only claim to fame is a 2-mintue video clip where he was captured pumping his girlfriend. He’d be better off training people on how to be a loser in two minutes instead.
Harman Baweja: Did you really think that you father would clone you as Hrithik Roshan and make you a Bollywood heartthrob Harman? Maybe you did and that’s exactly why you’re in this list. We don’t hate you for the kind of films you did because the buck can be passed on to your father who made one of the worst films we have ever seen in cohorts with Ashutosh Gowariker who thought we would tolerate his four-hour long snooze fest, but how can you be so remorseful about being yourself? That sorry state is what brings you here.
SM Krishna: He has often demonstrated his foolishness on public platforms. Last year, he made a joke of himself when he accidentally read out the speech of the Portuguese minister at a United Nations Security Council meeting at the United Nations. He continued reading it for three minutes until India’s envoy to UN Hardeep Singh Puri corrected him.
Vivek Oberoi: He’s a loser both on screen and off screen. But an even bigger loser was Aishwarya Rai who dated him. Also, we still don’t know what he disliked so much about his rustic, iconic roles in Company and Dum that he decided to transform into a chocolatey hero and sign Kyun Ho Gaya Na, Home Delivery and Prince instead. At least we still thought he was man enough when he tried to teach Sallu a lesson, but maybe he underwent a sex change before begging Salman for forgiveness at a very public event.
S Sreesanth: Men do cry, but only when things get really, really bad. And they do it behind closed door, but certainly not out on a cricket field where hundreds of cameras are broadcasting your every move to crores of television sets across the globe. You should start wearing sanitary pads sister Sree. Sorry, but you have done nothing worthwhile to be addressed as a dude or bro.
Dawood Ibrahim: He inspires Bollywood and criminals alike, but we seriously doubt his might because we haven’t seen him making a genuine public appearance for years now. C’mon Dawood, you’ve been ruling the most wanted list for years now, so at least start behaving like a wanted man. For some inspiration, you can watch the Don series. But don’t take suggestions from RGV because he’ll just downgrade your street cred.
Shirish Kunder: One slap from SRK and the world knew who Shirish Kunder is. Before that the media used to address him as the good-for-nothing half of choreographer-director Farah Khan. His only accomplishment in life is that he made his wife deliver triplets. Nothing else is worth knowing or writing about. By the way, did he really go to apologise to SRK for his misbehaviour or thank King Khan for making him famous?
A Prabhakar: If you or someone in your family or your neighbourhood wants to be a cricketer, please tell him that they should not be playing like this all-rounder. He was booed on his home ground at Delhi while giving too many runs against Sri Lanka in the 1995–96 Cricket World Cup and then shooed from playing further cricket following his involvement in the match fixing scandal.
Mahesh Bhatt: His films serve sex like a cold salad in a buffet, but he’s not in the list for that reason. He’s here because of his verbal diarrhea. He has to have an opinion on everything and is readily available for reactions on every topic making us wonder if he has anything else to do in life. And his poor publicist must be so overworked attending to media calls for silly questions ranging from what’s the cup size of Sunny Leone to what Bhatt thinks about global warming.
Vinod Kambli: He was more promising than the master blaster when they started out because Kambli flaunted better batting figures than Tendulkar, but unfortunately Kambli was so fucked up mentally that he couldn’t handle his career. And so his career ended abruptly and neither Bollywood nor reality shows worked for him. Finally, he had to do what every retired, unsuccessful, sacked and ‘hurt’ crickter does – appear as an expert on talk shows. But who cares for his comments anyways?
Salil Ankola: He made his test debut alongside Sachin Tendulkar and his debut was also his last test appearance. Ankola was so frequently dropped from the team that being dropped from the Indian team without getting a game was known in cricket circles as being “Ankolad”. He was also evicted from the opening season of Bigg Boss in the first week and he did some irrelevant roles on the idiot box, but is still best remembered or cursed for dropping the catch of Arjun Ranatunga in the quarter final of the World Cup match against Sri Lanka In 1996.