So, you think that your partner is cheating but can’t put a finger to it? Watch out for these signs.
The concept an inception of liaison-de-affaire goes hand-in-hand with marriage - it has existed from times beyond. Certainly, infidelity has found its flavour in the recent century yet affair has been a norm for ages.
Today, martial terms have evolved greatly, with people acknowledging the experience of marriage as a bittersweet roller-coaster of ups and downs. Accordingly, the natures of affairs have gone the murkier path. While earlier, affairs gathered a steamier tone, marked by clandestine actions, modern terms of affair seep deeper. And while physical affair stings for a while, it’s the emotional attachment beyond marital bliss that leaves a lingering bite- alongside some devastating repercussion. So, you think that your partner is cheating but can’t put a finger to it? Watch out for the following signs:
1. There’s something off about it
A neon sign of emotional infidelity? Having a sense of discomfort with a particular person in your partner’s life. Remember that “perfect-than-thou” colleague your partner raves about? He/she can be a part of the affair. Maybe you’ve stumbled across a flirtatious email that was left open on the computer or overly familiar postings on your partner’s Facebook page and the warning signs go on. Naturally, you notice all.
2. Physical distance has grown
The love or lovemaking just isn’t there, it seems. An emotional affair always has a direct effect on how often you and your spouse get physical. This can be due to the fact that your significant other is already emotionally withdrawn from you and that affects the physical detachment. Another food for thought? The ‘cheating’ partner may feel like having sex with his or her S.O. is being disloyal to the person with whom the emotional affair is occurring.
3. A sudden obsession with their phones
Too much into the phone? Maybe, he’s not into you. Your S.O doesn’t want the affair to unfold in front of your eyes, leading to an annoying habit of taking it everywhere. They get antsy if you pick it up, in fear of getting caught. If S.O. is constantly checking their phone for new messages, incessant texting and updating their social media, it can indicate that they’re emotionally invested in another person’s life and are getting the attention that they require.
4. That old “just friends” dialogue.
Remember the “just friends” dialogue that we all used in college to avert attention from a potential love interest? It certainly has seeped into the emotional perspective of an affair. Overemphasising on any aspect is a common way to dupe others into believing a lie. If you’re ‘just friends’ with someone, you talk about them as ‘my friend xxx’, not the banal ‘just friends’. As proven through innumerable studies, the semantics of that phrase suggests that you’re defending something that your partner is unaware of or are uncomfortable with, so keep your ears open.
5. A murky future
Is Romeo turning into Dr. Hyde? Cheater’ alert! If your partner is using less permanent language when discussing your marriage ― or actively avoiding discussions about plans for the future ― it could be a sign of an emotional affair. A definite pattern of this change lies in language and long-term goals. If your instincts tell you something may be going on, then it’s definitely time to check in with them.
6. Fishy nature
They don’t talk anymore! Wondering why your sweetie has a sudden interest in grooming or has become more outgoing? It may be an affair in making. Mating studies state that people project different personalities to woo a new mate- something that may spell bad news for you.
7. Too much information
Healthy couples are known to have clearly defined walls around the relationship, anything otherwise can spell danger. Hence, it is a troubling sign when the dynamic has changed and the affair partner has a window into the marriage or relationship. It’s hard to be certain about whether there’s something sketchy going on outside the relationship, but when boundaries like this are crossed, it is a sinking ship.
All this may sound depressing but it is a part and parcel of our life. The earlier you can detect, the faster you can run from going to hellsville!
By Ms Solene Paillet, Head of Communication Management of Gleeden