Will Not Strip

How do you manage to strike a balance between your pin-up girl image and that of a global brand ambassador for a liquor brand?
I fit in really well between both roles because they work on similar grounds. Both of my roles/avatars revolve around showcasing the glamourous and the good life, both focus on giving pleasure and on both grounds I stand unique in front of the world.

How do you manage to always stay so glamorous?
Well that’s a secret (gives us a naughty smirk), so shh. You have got to have a little bit of luck and a little bit of good looks to stay that way.

50 Shades Of Grey has taken the whole world by storm, do you think it’s blown out of proportion?
Honestly, I have not read the series, but it seems great that women around the world are coming out of the closet and adding a lot of glamour on these lines. A woman’s perception will always sound classier and people will be more intrigued by the same.

Ooh, so are you hinting at doing something similar in the near future?
Well, yes. I am doing my own research for an erotic novel. And I’m sure people will love it.

And what has been your inspiration to become who you are?
As a kid I always wanted to be unique in whatever I do. I dreamt of being glamorous and sensual in my own way and here I am today.

So what is your favorite cocktail made with Cointreau?
I am big Margarita fan. If you are serving me Cointreau then it better be my favorite cocktail called the Cointreau Sutra.

And do we get a date with you if we make you the Cointreau Sutra?
Well, only if you make it my way.

You were in a serious relationship with a girl when you were 20, right? How was it? Is it better being with a man or woman?
I was seeing this girl for just about two months, so it’s a long gone story. And after that it was MEN all the way for me. Though I can’t comment about the other side now as I don’t want to sound judgmental and don’t want to offend anyone.

So Lesbianism – what are your thoughts on that?
(Laughs) Not equipped to answer that.

We hear you’re a vintage collector and own a 1946 Ford and a 1938 Packard One Two Eight – what fascinates you the most about these cars?
I have an eye for perfection and that’s what these cars are all about. What really fascinates me is that even the slightest of details in these cars are handmade and done up beautifully. The vintage era always had things so much classier and suave than what we get today. These cars define who I am and for me it’s of utmost importance that I drive in these cars.

You are going gaga over Indian sarees, will we get to see you in an Indian avatar at one of your shows?
I totally love the Indian saree. It’s a dress that adds a lot of glamour in a subtle way to someone’s personality. I will have to work things out to flaunt a saree in one of my shows, though it’s something that I would definitely want to do.

Bigg Boss is the Indian version of the famous reality TV show Big Brother – if you were contacted by the organisers, will you want to be a part of it?
Reality TV shows are for people whose career are heading towards an end, and as of now I am far far away from that situation.

Last one: How is that you always look so fresh and beautiful?
I guess it’s because of my mother. She still looks young and is definitely beautiful.

- Nishant Nayyar

 

 

The Humble Poet

Girls really dig guys in music”, says Humble, who got his first introduction to his native country through the immensely popular and widely showcased television series The Dewarists. Other than that, he emphasis on the fact that being an artist lets him explore and understand himself due to which he is continuously learning and growing. Following the release of Baagi Music, his first mainstream break, Humble has been gifted with a lot of opportunities. “Performing at the Lollapalooza (North America’s largest music festival) this summer has certainly helped me break into the right circuit with the right people, he tells us.

My dad has been a huge support and since the day he started giving me pointers and advice on my content, I have seen myself as a better performer and artist”, he replies when asked what has been the most influential moment in his life. Humble also firmly believes that it’s important not to concern yourself with the expectations of others, as they have their own priorities and likings, but it feels really good to know you have your family always backing you. His own family has indeed been his greatest source of energy, which has helped Humble come out as a winner through all the challenges.
His style of music is different from what we get to hear and he calls it elite lyrics with music that will stir the mind and the body at the same time. The lad takes pride and holds his head high for being original and aspiring to be the most versatile Hip-Hop artist in the world. “My music style draws a contrast from the lineage of Punjabi/Sikh poets, which does not sacrifice the sonic beauty of sound and the sheer fun of music”, exclaims Canada born Humble, who started his career as a schoolteacher.
So how exactly does Humble fit himself in the world of Hip-Hop? “Like any other competitive area of work, Hip-Hop also holds its biases. “To be accepted, artists need to display proficiency and creativity that is second to none. My ethics shine in my music and everyone recognises that. I have never felt my ethnicity as a hindrance to
my growth as I’m here to push the art form forward and onto the international mindset
where anyone and everyone can love different cultures”, adds
the Poet.

On being asked about his experience at The Dewarists, Humble cannot stop praising Monica Dogra and the Midival Punditz. He firmly believes that the association has been one of the highlights of his career and still maintains a close relationship with both artists. He proudly flaunts a Midival Punditz tattoo that he got inked when performing at the NH7 Weekender, Pune last year.
He also has the highest regards for budding artists in India as he feels Hip-Hop and India can have a great relationship, as long as it’s genuine. If artists in India, or any other non-native English speaking country, make the art form their own, he thinks it will thrive. He wants his fans and budding artists to follow the golden rule of – Always Be Yourself – to reach newer heights in their career. He also insists that practice is what makes your efforts perfect as he thinks that with any skill, you need to invest time and the growth is slow, and sometimes painful, but if a person’s efforts are genuine then he will certainly succeed. Our last question to him is aimed at getting a sneak peek into what’s in store for him for the coming year, to which he replies, “My new album Humble The Poet Presents – 00:002, which will be available for free download by spring 2013 with its first song Bhagat Singh”. Besides the album, Humble is working on trying to pull together an indie film project about some significant events surrounding the first Indian immigrants to Canada. He leaves us with hints about interesting collaborations, “I’m looking to do some heavy collaborations with talent in India, not just musically, but also for visuals, promotion,
and branding.”

- Nishant Nayyar

 

 

Mila Kunis Wants Fifty Shades Ff Grey Role: Men Everywhere Rejoice

You read that right. Mila Kunis has told The Sun that she would have a “good time” playing Anastasia Steele, the protagonist of EL James’ Fifty Shades of Grey. FHM would like to go on a record as saying “we think this is a good idea”.

Kunis said, “There are times when you just want to do something fun and different, because you’re going to have a good time doing it.”

Mila Kunis playing an innocent virgin who’s drawn into the dark world of sadomasochistic sex? That could work. Especially since the screenwriter Kelly Marcel has already said, “It will be raunchy – we’re 100 per cent going there.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ten things you should never type into Google

10 Young boys strip
Because the police have never heard the, “I was just trying to buy the official kit of Young Boys FC, the Swiss team who played Spurs in the fourth qualifying round of the 2010-2011 Champions League,” excuse before.

09 Google
Typing “Google” into Google is the online equivalent of saying “Candyman” into a mirror three times: yes, probably nothing bad will happen, but what if it does? What if it causes the internet to fold in on itself, like some vast digital black hole, sucking you into its whirling vortex as it slowly implodes, before burping you out, stranded and alone, into a pixellated limbo-wasteland? It’s really not worth the risk, is it?

08 Elephantiasis
According to Wikipedia, Elephantiasis is ‘a disease characterised by the thickening of the skin and underlying tissues, especially in the legs and male genitals.’ These words don’t prepare you for the sheer retina-burning horror of the Google image search, which brings up, among other things, an image of a man sitting in a chair made of his own bollocks.

07 Tub Girl
There are countless revolting images on the internet – if you so wished, you could spend a truly foul evening scrolling through rotten.com, wincing and grimacing and intermittently vomiting into your lap. Perhaps the most infamous of all these images is “Tub Girl”, a jpeg that’s long been deployed as a visual weapon by trolls looking to decimate forum threads. Never seen it? Congratulations. Do not look it up.

06 Bomb instructions
We don’t want to sound like the kind of paranoid conspiracy nut who lines their walls with tin foil to keep out the government’s mind-control rays, but anyone who types ‘bomb instructions’ into Google definitely sets off a big flashing red light and a whoop-whooping alarm at MI5 and the CIA. Also avoid: “How to break into Number 10 and shit on David Cameron’s forehead while he sleeps.”

05 50 things to do before you’re 30
Unless, of course, you’ve: bungee jumped in Zimbabwe, wrestled a crocodile in Australia, made a million, played for your country at football, scaled Everest, canoed down the Amazon, had a disease named after you, built your own house, shagged Keeley Hazell and Kelly Brook, high-fived Barack Obama and cured cancer…?

04 Any item you’ve recently bought
In case you hadn’t noticed, the internet is the ultimate free market. A place where, as long as you’re prepared to type your card details into a security-free holding page with more spelling mistakes than the ‘English menu’ in a foreign restaurant, you can get any item you want for about a quarter of the high street price. So did you really expect the ‘buy now’ option on the jacket you’ve just splurged £200 on to be anything more than £50?

03 The Death Clock
You’ve ignored us and done it anyway, haven’t you? Good one. Now you’re faced with the same dilemma we were. Do you navigate away from the page? Or boldly press on – typing in your date of birth, height, weight and smoking habits so you can discover the exact day the internet believes you’re going to snuff it? You’ve pressed on, haven’t you? Good one. Fucks you up, doesn’t it???

02 Why does my testicle ache?
Hold on a minute, what’s that on my left bollock? Was that there before? Now I think about it, it does feel a bit sore to pee. I’ll just have a quick check on the internet to make sure it’s nothing serious. HOLD ON A MINUTE… ‘symptoms include sensitive skin, tiredness and mood swings’…I have all those! And www.doctorballs.com looks like a totally legitimate site. Uh-oh.

01 Yourself
There are two possible outcomes of Googling yourself: (1) It will return no hits about you whatsoever and you’ll realise that there are loads of people with your exact name who’ve done bigger and better things than you. (2) It will bring up a blurry naked photo of you taken by your ex-girlfriend loaded to mydickheadex.com. Neither of these are good things.

Words by The FHM Team

 

 

Want To Be Smarter? Happier? Poo Your Insides Out? It’s FHM’s Guide To Pills

Vitamins, minerals and dietary supplements come in all shapes, sizes and colours, and can cost a pretty penny. But do they really work? What happens if you overdose? And – most importantly – what do they taste like when you break the golden ‘DO NOT CHEW, SWALLOW WHOLE’ rule?

01 BEAT THE SNIVELS
Vitamin C
Why do I need it? Vit C reduces your time with man-flu by 8%.
What happens if you O.D? Stomach pain, flatulence, the runs.
How does it taste? Supercharged, super-sour sherbert.
Vom-rating 4/10

02 SHED YOUR GUT
Vitamin B12
Why do I need it? Struggling to shift that unwanted weight? B12 metabolises fats and carbohydrates to help torch flab.
What happens if you O.D? Not a lot.
How does it taste? A bit like ice.
Vom-rating 1/10

03 FIGHT OFF PARKINSON’S
Folic Acid
Why do I need it? Produces dopamine in the brain, which could help stop Parkinson’s.
What happens if you O.D? Numbness and tingles in the mouth.
How does it taste? Surprisingly tasty.
Vom-rating 1/10

04 MEND YOUR JOINTS
Seven Seas Joint Care
Why do I need it? Contains ingredients which rebuild tendons, ligaments and cartilage.
What happens if you O.D? A lot of pooing.
How does it taste? Off peanut butter.
Vom-rating 9/10

05 LIVE FOREVER
Vitamin K2
Why do I need it? It’s been linked with keeping cancer at bay.
What happens if you O.D? K2 is fine, just don’t O.D. on K3, as that poisons your blood.
How does it taste? Like old beef stock.
Vom-rating 3/10

06 SMARTEN UP
Omega 3 Fish Oil
Why do I need it? Improves brain function and heart health.
What happens if you O.D? Possibly some bleeding disorders.
How does it taste? Cooked salmon skin with stale water. Vile.
Vom-rating 10/10

07 LOSE WEIGHT FAST
Nordic Chili Burn
Why do I need it? It uses chilis and green tea to ramp up your fat-burning metabolism.
What happens if you O.D? Ulcers and other stomach issues.
How does it taste? Spicy aniseed and mint.
Vom-rating 7/10

08 BEAT THE BLOATS
Digestherb
Why do I need it? It’s made from artichoke leaf which is brilliant for getting rid of that nasty full-belly feeling.
What happens if you O.D? Not too much.
How does it taste? Mud. Dirty mud.
Vom-rating 8/10

09 SLEEP BETTER
Iron and Vitamin C
Why do I need it? Iron helps cure Restless Leg Syndrome, a cause of insomnia.
What happens if you O.D? Black, bloody poos, blue lips and the possibility of a coma.
How does it taste? Cold, cold blood.
Vom-rating 6/10

10 CHILL OUT
Vitamin B6
Why do I need it? Aids serotonin production, which stops depression.
What happens if you O.D? Can harm your dorsal root ganglion, which controls nerves and sounds funny.
How does it taste? Blue cheese aspirin.
Vom-rating 7/10

11 CURE EVERYTHING
Mega Vita-min
Why do I need it? This pill contains 7,000 times your RDA on some vits.
What happens if you O.D? It makes you feel FIT and STRONG.
How does it taste? Lemon fish food.
Vom-rating 9/10

12 SAVE YOUR LIVER
Beetroot Extract
Why do I need it? For rescuing your battered liver from its Christmas party-addled state.
What happens if you O.D? Your pee turns red.
How does it taste? Lovely, beetroot cake.
Vom-rating 2/10

Words by Jess Commons and Mike Butler

Start Your Day With A Sexy New Spring Breakers Trailer

We see you. Sat at your desk, furiously refreshing the National Rail homepage to see if you’re able to get home tonight. Why not take your mind off the Arctic conditions with this brand-spanking new (and thoroughly warming) trailer for Spring Breakers.

Out on April 5, Spring Breakers tells the story of four sexy college girls as they plan to fund their spring break getaway by robbing fast food shack. But that’s only the beginning…

Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson, Selena Gomez and Rachel Korine soon find themselves in trouble when they get arrested for the robbery. Hungover and clad only in bikinis, the girls appear before a judge but are bailed out unexpectedly by gold-toothed Alien (James Franco), a charismastic local thug who takes them under his wing and leads them on the wildest Spring Break trip in history.

Disney girls go bad. It’s as simple as that. So, if that’s not enough to get you interested, stop wasting our time and yours!