Do your Girlfriend's friends hate you?
You and your girlfriend have just made it official. You’ve wined her. You’ve dined her. You’ve tried out all your best bedroom moves and… she’s liked them. You’ve even met her dad, and managed to charm your way through lunch without swearing like a pissed-up pirate, talking about his daughter’s ‘sexy butt’ or being chased out of his house at gunpoint. Feels like all the hard work’s done, right?
Nuh huh. There’s one more giant hurdle left to overcome. A few of them, actually. They’re the Simon Cowells of your relationship, the people who–with just a thumbs up or thumbs down–will dictate whether you have a joyous, sex-filled future ahead with your new girlfriend, or if you’re dying a sad, lonely hermit.
The BFF Test is one where your chances of success seem, we’re sorry to say, upsettingly slim. Her best mates know everything about you, even the whole “usually it lasts loads longer than that, honest” thing from the other night.
What’s more, she already doesn’t like you. You’re fresh competition. She’s just waiting for you to mess up, say something inappropriate, laugh at the wrong thing or look down her top. And when you do, oh Lordy, are you for the high jump. Scared? Yep, we’re petrified for you too, pal.
So, to help you through the most important, life-determining interview of your life, we enlisted the help of three beautiful friends of FHM to give you the advice that’ll help you come out the other end.
How much does a girl’s bestie know about her boyfriend?
Lana: Absolutely everything. What he likes on his toast, what he likes in bed etc…
Jo: …And all the bad things too. Bad habits, bad things you do when you’re drunk, like farting in bed. There’s no boundaries
Have you ever shared anything with a best friend that maybe you shouldn’t?
Lana: Er, yes! I once told my best friend about an ex-boyfriend and how he didn’t know his way around my body.
What’s the first thing I should say when I meet her?
Jo: “Do you want some gin?” Just, be nice, polite. Buy her a drink when you meet up, give her a lift home, stuff like that. Oh and always tell her how good her eyebrows look. An eyebrow compliment will please any girl. It’s not pervy, it shows you’re paying attention.
Can a guy ever tell a girlfriend that he thinks her best mate is a dickhead?
Jo: No! No way! Never. Just say, “I don’t think she really likes me, what can I do?” It shows you want to make an effort.
How can a guy win over a girl’s best mate?
Lana: Tell her you’re planning a secret holiday or party for your girlfriend, and because she knows her better than anyone, you could really do with her help. She’ll love that you want to get her involved.