8 Ways To Ace Your Online Dating Game
Tell Her She’s Hot, But Not Only That
A good format for an opening message is a sincere interest, a compliment and then a question. Identify what the woman’s leading with on her profile. If she’s got a picture with a cat, then you can tease her for being a crazy cat lady. Then you give her a compliment – “I think you have a great sense of style” – and then you ask her a question: “Do you travel much?” Compliments on appearance are the best openers – just don’t leave it at that. Say, “Wow, you have some nice curves” but then add, “Looks like you read a lot, what’s your favourite book?”
Look Interesting, Even If You’re Not
When it comes to Tinder, research shows that women judge guys almost exclusively on their pictures. What you say in your profile gives a little insight into your personality, but statistically, guys doing something interesting in their pictures get more matches. Women like to see some context – what you do and what you’re into. If you’re playing the guitar or playing some kind of sport, those go over very well.
Realise It’s Ok To Tell White Lies
Everyone’s looking for an edge. Most men embellish their height by one or two inches or their income by Rs. 20,000 to 30,000. Women, on the other hand, tend to bring their age down, by as much as five to 10 years. There isn’t any malicious intent behind it. The truth is, if there are chemistry and fireworks in person, all those numbers go out the window.
It’s A Game, So Pick Your Character
Men and women use dating sites completely differently. Men create a lot of content and send a lot of messages. Women don’t typically read profiles in great depth; they just screen them. There are three main archetypes women screen for lover, provider and friend. Decide what your angle is. And there are certain keywords that we know women tend to respond to. “Gentleman” is one that resonates very strongly.
Come Over All James Bond
Another strategy is called “the wedding toast”, where we want someone to laugh, and then we want them to say “aww”. So it’s a combination of saying something funny followed by something sincere. That comes across really well on dating sites. And don’t give too much away. If you’re getting on well, you can even say something like, “I would tell you more, but I want to leave a little mystery.” Building intrigue is a huge thing that really spikes attraction.
Play The Numbers Game
Online dating is, in my opinion, better than meeting women in real life. Let’s say you go out to a bar or a club – how many women are you really going to see who you’re really interested in? Whereas if you’re on a dating site, you have hundreds and hundreds of prospects. Those who shun online dating are going to be lonely, or keep playing the game of going out to clubs and buying drinks. That’s a very outdated model.
Don't Waste Your Time
Guys who get the most frustrated with online dating are the ones who take a lot of time constructing a really heartfelt message to a woman they’re interested in, and then never hear back. It’s very disheartening when that happens to you a few times. At first, just gauge interest to see if she’s going to respond to you. If she does, then sure, it’s worth putting more effort into it. But to do that upfront makes absolutely no sense.
Don’t Be Fooled By Pseudo-Science
A lot of online dating sites use so-called matching algorithms, but the jury’s still out as to how effective these actually are. Christian Rudder, the founder of OkCupid, said recently that this matching is more of a psychosomatic thing. People think that they’re higher matched so they end up communicating. They have this idea that they should be well matched because they see this percentage score, and that’s enough for them to start chatting.
Cyberpsychologist Nicola Fox Hamilton reveals how to choose a winning profile picture…
The group shot
This is quite a successful strategy. Women tend to prefer guys who look more extrovert in their photographs – so, surrounding yourself with friends suggests that you’re more extrovert and you’ve got a wide circle of friends.
The pet picture
Academic research has found that looking trustworthy and not being too masculine are attractive qualities that women look for in men. If you’ve got a photograph with a kitten or a puppy, it ticks those boxes.
The cheesy smile
Strangely enough, research shows that it’s important not to look too warm or kind – for guys, smiling isn’t particularly successful. For a close-up headshot, looking away from the camera, not smiling, is actually more successful.
The topless selfie
As shallow as it sounds, research shows that this actually works well as long as you’re in really good shape. It also depends what age you are – the effectiveness of those photographs ends around the age of 30.